Well I don't mean to sound ungrateful but I have to admit I am feeling less than enamoured with my physical appearance at the moment.
Today I actually discovered that I have fat feet.
Fat feet! Perish the thought! Cue visions of obese people squeezing their bloated plates of meat into too-tight ballet pumps, flesh spilling out over the top, ankles obliterated.
This is now me.
Anyway, at least my maternity leave is almost nigh. Tomorrow is a training day, so today was basically my last day at work. As much as it surprises me to say it, I actually felt quite sad. To be honest this had more to do with the fact that I felt I was being usurped by younger, keener models and would return washed up, knowing no one and more bitter than ever, repeating endless soliloquies about how it all used to be better in my day, rather than emotional desolation at the thought of leaving the place. Apparently I am already so old that I have actually taught one of the new teachers. It's just as well I'm in the process of creating a new generation as clearly my own time on Planet Earth is now obsolete.
Fat, bloated and past it. That's pretty much the shape of things to come. YAY.